You know ain't nothing changed but my limp

Ten years from now we'll still be on top
Yo, I thought I told you that we won't stop
-Mase, Puffy, BIG, "Mo Money, Mo Problems"

Just stab me in the neck now. I had planned to write this nice little recollection of the last decade. But then reality tapped me on the chin.

I lie to you not. 10 years to the hour, son. Irony is a mutha.

So peep this. I graduated from high school on June 6th, 1997. It was a great day. A little overcast and a slight drizzle. I had the green hornet at the time and did my little bit of errands and was finally making my way up Spruill Avenue to get to Sterrett Hall in time for the ceremonies. So I'm approaching the Chicora neighborhood and wouldn't you know it; some blue lights start twinkling in the periphery. "Nah," I mumble to myself, "this bum cannot be sweating me." Sure enough, I got pulled over and issued a moving violation. The indiscretion? I didn't have my head lights on in the rain. Now, ain't that some bull?

Fast forward a decade. Different state. Different whip. Different hood. Same ole bull. Only this time, she said I should expect a citation in the mail. Maybe if it was a heinous violation, I wouldn't be so heated. Or maybe if some dude who probably roams Dudley Square on the regular didn't piss on the sidewalk about 2 minutes later after they walked off. I am so pissed right now it ain't even funny. Just straight up messed up my whole demeanor for the rest of the week.

So now, I'll have to save my ten year recap and add a day or two to it refocus my thoughts.

i'm maintaining without mantanning

"People pay for what they do, and still more for what they have allowed themselves to become. And they pay for it very simply; by the lives they lead."
-James A. Baldwin

Apparently, i have 1,928,877, 245 seconds to live beacuse I am scheduled to die on Thursday, July 19th, 2068. That is, of course, according to deathclock. But that sure does beat some of the previous estimates I once believed. It's a wonder what self-esteem can do for a kid. Believe it or not, there used to be a point in time where I didn't think I'd live to see my 21st birthday. It was a persistent fear that hovered over me constantly like the grim reaper with a Champion hoodie and a beeper kept checking up on me every other week. But I never felt as though I was ever destined for success. And I do not consider myself in any way successful right now. It's just a matter of comfort. Material possessions are a little easier to obtain nowadays. And I've never been a fan of paying to go out. But every few weeks or so, I stumble upon life's brick wall of humility and chip my tooth while trying to take a bite out of reality.

So this is just my way of putting some thoughts down once again to keep my mind stimulated, my hopes high, and my energy focused. I come across people of all walks of life on an almost daily basis that offer me a brief, small glimmer into their respective lives. But as a collective, they allow me to see the world through their eyes like the kaleidoscope of potential and promise that it should be. And the reflection is eternal because the mirrors through which i gaze help me to stay grounded as best I can and reinforce the need for me to live up to the promises that I've made and the potential and promise that I pledge not to waste. I've done my share of dumb sT in life. Some of which the world will never hear about. And I will probably do some more though not-as-dumb ish. So I write this as I continue to do what I can for those that can use my help; especally the youth of America and in particular the young black males like me who get typecasted as destined for failure when in fact they just need somebody to hold them down and help steer them in the right direction. Somebody did it for me and I think I turned out aiight. It's only right that I try to do the same. Only when I've done all that I can, can I truly rest in peace.

why they hate our white t-shirts and hats turned backwards

Why die for all my beliefs
I gotta look at my kid
I'd rather smile then cry when he's sleep
That's why

the above photo was taken 2 days later and 2 blocks away from the photo in the previous post.

what we do is more important than what is done to us

peep a few pictures from the 2007 Mother's Day Peace Walk

Those words were penned by Nikki Giovanni in the aftermath of the shootings that recently took place at Virginia Tech. Enough analogies have been made about bloodshed whether it is on inner-city streets, abroad in Iraq, or in mass homicides. But the message is clear; willpower is indeed powerful. Last year, I walked 3-plus miles in torrential rains with a few hundred others who turned out for the annual Mother's Day Walk for Peace. Today, the sun was shining, the sky was a crisp, clear blue and the mood was phenomenal. And the turnout was phenomenal. I was delighted to see so many familiar faces in the crowd supporting the cause. It is moments like this that give me hope and motivate me to wake up each morning with a determination to withstand anything that may come my way. Each day I am more and more amazed and humbled by the presence of people who do great things of much wider depth and significance that I probably will ever imagine. And they do so in small steps with faintly an awareness of how many are impacted by their humility and grace. Happy Mother's Day.