Hands steady so the lines in the mental illustration is straight

Kujichagulia - Self-Determination

To define ourselves, name ourselves, create for ourselves, and speak for ourselves.

Black Star has a song called KOS on its first album that I quoted over a year ago. Every time I listen to it, it gets me motivated to look forward to a new day and give thanks every morning that i wake up. Since self-determination, kujichagulia, is the 2nd Nguzo Saba principle of Kwanzaa, I could not think of a more appropriate topic to write about. Music does have the power to change the world even if it's in small strides. There are many whose voices will never be heard. There are people who will appreciate creativity and effort no matter the weather. If you speak for yourself, others will listen. Yet, the merit they give your words is up to you.

That quick cash'll get your a$$ quick fast in houses of detention
Inner-city concentration camps where no one pays attention
or mentions the ascension of death, til nothing's left
The young, gifted and Black are sprung addicted to crack
All my people where y'all at cause, y'all ain't here
And your hero's using your mind as a canvas to paint fear
With, broad brush strokes and tales of incarceration
-Black Star, KOS

let it rain and clear it out

holiday time observations

it's fifty degrees outside and overcast. cold, but not too cold. whatever.

i like how governor-elect Patrick is holding steady on his stance that state troopers should not be immigration officers. i just read that a Dallas suburb passed law preventing landlords from renting to illegal immigrants. the lawsuit has been filed already. definitely want to see how that one turns out.

i came across this column and found it to be quite an interesting read. it is entitled, "A Locked Cabinet," and it reads almost like a synopsis of the Bush administration's shortfalls. It is truly a masterful piece of writing. And this is a powerful visual tribute to New England's fallen soldiers.

Speaking of good writing and summarization skillz, the homie droppe wrap-up as usual and it had laughing away heartily. It's really a shame he has that Canibus disease and cannot come correct with a dope album Such a pity.

it's not rapping, if you just saying the same thing twice

And speaking of saying the same thing twice, I think I may have mentioned before my dislike of that Angelina Jolie chick's upcoming stint as a black woman in a movie. She may look a little ethnic or whatever, but I just cannot stomach it. Plus, the broad is everywhere. Give me a break. No really, please. No more sausages, mom, PLEASE. This all came back to my mind lately because I finally watched Carlito's Way, which was a pretty damn good movie. However, am I the only one who is disturbed when Al Pacino is portraying the illest Spanish cats. I mean really though. And imagine the uproar of rebuttal from people who will assert that the emergence of the new crop of Black actresses are "stealing" away white women's roles? It's a can of worms I'm not really going to cover in depth right now. But like Arsenio used to say, it is something to make you hmmmmm.

But sometimess going hmmmm is therapeutic too, nahmean. Like how I left the ER last week and picked up a copy of the hospital's newsletter and noticed that none of the doctors who were pictured looked like the predominantly black and brown patients. Like how watching Dreamgirls can put you in a trance and hearing Effie sing her life's tale can bring you to cheers and tears. And how watching Eddie Party All The Time Murphy do his thing and go into James Brown mode on the same day that the godfather departed this world felt like a fitting tribute in that hushed and humbled theater.

Hope you Christmas was better than mine.

Merry Christmas

Any Given Sunday

Nowhere is where I came from

As I sat in church this morning/afternoon, something the pastor said stuck in my mind. It was something along the lines of God's word being legit and binding; having blind faith in someone who you know will not choke when confronted with adversity.

Broke many tackles but I'm trapped in myself

Immediately, I thought of the phrase, word is bond. I actually like to use the word, word, in my everyday conversation. As in, word up, oh word, say word, etc. But sometimes, it is eye-opening to think about the little things we say and do in life that have a cumulative effect on our psyche. Someone even pointed out to me how today's sermon was more generic than any given sunday. It was those life jewels that got dropped and thrown his way on the regular that mattered more than the special occasion messages.

On "Any Given Sunday" I got to play my best

The things we hear and feel cause us to speak and react in ways that are sometimes beyond our control and yet - we involuntarily allow the spirit to hit us as it sees fit. I have been feeling extremely overwhelmed with a lot of stress lately and I absolutely despise being stressed. It just doesn't fit my bones. I'm annoyed when I'm aggravated and then from there it's just a downward spiral. So I did some praying, mapped out a few resolutions in advance, and now sit here figuratively and literally cleaning up my life and throwing out a few things, dusting off a few things, and making room for a few things. However, I do wonder how much paper I will be able to throw away though. And who's to say that my winter cleaning will result in any goodwill or favor? All I know is that when all is said and done (life-wise, not this cleaning ish), I would like to be able to say that I gave it my all and put my best foot forward. Nahmean? If I can't write and cash that check, then I need to bounce, son. Word up.

Don't want to be just a commodity
-Common, Guru, Jamie Foxx, "Any Given Sunday"

Black mind intertwined like the ropes they used to hang us with

I get off the chain like Kunta Kinte with a MAC-10

Sigh. The year is coming to an end. The world is coming to an end. And so life begins.

With less than two weeks to go, I look back on a year of what was, what could have been, and what is. What the future holds is solely up to me (for the most part); because regrets beget even more regrets. And I'm still striving to live a regret-free life.

So, I'll compile my list of things I'd like to accomplish in this next calendar year that I did not have a chance to do this year. And then I'll add some new ideas and goals to the list so that I can get even more animated (yeah aiight) in my anxious anticipation of coming closer to some things that had previously seemed to be lightyears away. No really. On some fantasy-world, maybe when I'm fifty-five type ish.

Had a foolproof hustle 'til they traced the payments

Maybe I'll go back through some of my old posts and see what I have been able to complete in the short time that I have been actually keeping track of some of my personal milestones. It'll be a way for me to assess my progress and good practice for some new plans in the works. Plus, ain't nothing better than checking your pulse and hearing the thump-thump of your heart from your wrists to your calves and everywhere in between to let you know the ticker is still tiocking and the ship is ready to sail, right?

As a matter of fact, I definitely am looking forward to this week's session. Speaking of a ship being ready to sail, I have a new crop of talented and tech-savvy students who I have learned a lot from and hope to have around for a while. With each passing year, the baseline for technology skills is inching up ever farther (fortunately), yet the mindstates of some people who otherwise could be greatly helping to tap this hidden talent pool are seemingly trapped in Industrial Age, robot-fear-mongering thoughts of job outsourcing and career extinction (unfortunately). But if my kids cannot get jobs because you think they're going to take your job over, well umm....isn't that the point anyway?

It's y'all turn like Detroit Red
When he said he had an ultra perm
-The Coup f/ Black Thought, Talib Kweli, "My Favorite Mutiny"

Ain't no chimnies in the ghetto so I won't be hanging my socks

The package sto' was closed, okay my day is ruined

i'm curious why there is a need for you to steal shrimp. is there a black market?

i'm serious about eating a little more healthier. and finding a league to ball in so these cats can be consistent with their has-been-itis.

i'm ridiculously feeling Sean Price's "Cardiac" joint. and papoose's 50 shots joint. i miss CRU and BUMS and ATCQ.

i used to be puzzled that they didn't have package stores here in the Bean. the ones with the big red circles on the outside wall and no signs, text, words, etc.

i'm stil not sure why that bothered me since it don't affect me. maybe i should get drizzed off some eggnog and yac this holiday season.

i'm closed-minded and stubborn when I really shouldn't be. i'm not sure where that came from.

i can ruin my appetite by thinking of some seriously deranged shT. somehow i manage to dream up the worst and devise preparation ideas just in case. like mental insurance or some shT.

i may have to start taking sleeping pills. it's affecting my thinking in the morning. most people i need to interact with business-wise clock out by 5.

AI needs to come to the Bean pronto. i'll keep going to the games regardless of if he comes or not though. i love this game.

This is ridiculous, I'm gettin serious, I'm gettin curious
-Outkast

I seen your mom at her prom, she was the bomb

I seen my friends turn to enemies
I seen peeps turn to memories
I even seen who shot Kennedy

when pigs fly...

an even number, yet it's been an odd year

we never knowing when it's our time to go

i definitely have neither seen it all nor been through it all

although...

i seen a funeral spill out into the streets like never before and people there just because

i seen causes commodified

i seen a good dude get killed on the job

i seen a father make amends and redress past deeds, only to leave this world after spending time with those he always loved

i seen a youth worker get surprised and honored for the extra miles she goes to try and make a difference

i seen an already overworked principal asked to do more BS

i seen a star born in due time

i seen mutual acquaintances become best friends

i seen verizon playing me from afar

i seen the numbers when they were looking right

i seen good intentions become a lullaby of lies

i seen it coming (ok, not really)

i seen the day turn to night

i seen the sun set and rise right before my eyes

Seen 13 year olds split phillies
And spit nine millies
-AG, "All Eyes Seeing"

Look me in my eyes cuz ya handshake don't fool thee

shoulders up. eyes alert. head horizontal. to remember a name, repeat it after meeting someone for the first time. or just use it in a sentence. or a question. kinda like a prefix or suffix. stay grounded. take your own advice.

You was just frontin, now it ain't nuttin

be aware of your surroudings. always be prepared. keep some of your business cards on you at all times. come correct on stuff you say you're gonna do. follow-through on action items and assigned tasks. keep your composure. think before you speak. the only stupid question was the one you didn't ask. you cannot fail if you don't try. live life to the fullest.

If you got somethin to say, then cough it out
-Shyheim & Big L, "Furious Anger"

I just so happened to hear both the above song and the following bible passage twice (each) on wed. figured it probably wasn't a fluke. samuel jackson "popularized" it with his pulp fiction character, yet it is powerful by itself, although the movie version is not completely accurate. but it's mostly the voice...chills...

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

mad explosive spontaneity

who'll be the shareholder of my kinda thoughts

Bahamadia was WAY ahead of her time. It just needs to be said. I'm a fan of giving props to those ill people doing their thing while they are still here with us instead of celebrating and honoring them posthumously. And what really sucks is that the people who were already kinda famous are the ones who get more "publicity" when they die. I'm not saying it's a conspiracy or nothing, but it just strikes me as odd that some folks will never get their just due. So this is my way of recognizing those who've impacted me in some way. This just came to me, so now I gotta do some thinking. More to come.

Technology for the sake of technology

I used to really like that one skit on the Chappelle Show called, "When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong." It brought to the surface the absurdity of doing some things "just because" it seemed like the "sensible" thing to do. Not.

There are plenty of times where I like to consider myself an early adopter. I'm usually pretty quick to pick up on some new technology. I like testing somehitng out to see how it works and if it enhances my life in any way.

Let me think back; I had a beeper (or sky pager for Tribe fans) about a decade ago in high school. Oh the times. I remeber having a cell phone in 1998 and using it call home most of the time because everybody and their moms didn't have one at the time. Back in 1999 and 2000, I had this digital camera that used to get mad laughs for its enormity, yet heads was still hitting up the drug store or ritz camera for processing. Sheeeettttt, I even had one of the APS fils cameras right before the digital joints broke loose. About two years ago, I had a PDA phone that was a little on the boxy side, yet the buttons were perfect for my thumb.

You see, I was playing Quake using virtual reality back when all these current Halo and Gears of War cats were sucking their thumbs rocking out to the first PlayStation. So whatever. Technology is dope. Being an early adopter has its excitement. But don't get it twisted. Some technology really just kills brain cells.

For instance, this new electronic CharlieCard bullshT the MBTA has going on. I'm saying, son...you mean I have to pay more for the T if I need to ride it once a month if I don't have a card? And I have to keep the card for three years? What is this ridiculousness?! You're telling me I need to "tap" it to put money on it and "tap out" or whatever the hell to get through the turnstile? Or will the turnstile now become a magnetic forcefiled that "gently buzzes" me if I don't pay my fare?

I recall the many nights I used to spend in Kinko's back in the day during the design times and how simple life was. You need to make a copy. Put a dime in the machine. Copies? Gimme two quarters. That was; until the did the dumb shT and got all techie on me. All of a sudden, I had to add a step to the process by getting a card, then putting money on it, and then using it to handle my business. Yeah, it might sound simple. But really though. It'd make sense for it to be a one-time inconvenience if it were really that simple and I actually returned witht the card the next time I came. Yeah; aiight. Same shT every time. After a while, it was time to find a new spot.

Same with this techie hype. Some folks are out here with all the acronym gadgets not knowing nothing 'bout nothing. Just straight blind geeking it. Making us nerds look bad and shT. That's just completely uncalled for. Lemme stick to doing my techie thing and when the joint is ready for you to walk it out, I'll holla.

Or maybe i'm just acting simple because I got a newer phone today and being in that store made me realize how much they are jacking up prices nowadays for some straight bullshT. But hey, all those brand-new early adopters are willing to pay the price to be early. All this buzz over iPod minis, HD TVs, DVRs; I'm all set, dunny.

So here's a toast to the ill new technology that makes me go, niiice in my part-time patois, chucktown twang. MP3 PLayers. Serato. USB Drives. Pandora's Box. YouTube. Dual processors. Word.