ask yourself the same question

I am not: a full-time a$$hole, a pushover, a pawn
I hurt: people's feelings when I temporarily become an a$$hole
I think: 24/7, constantly, consistently, of crazy shT
I hate: the absence of common sense, lazy/complacent muthafuqas, wack shT
I cry: when no one is around, involuntarily
I care: about my family and future
I feel alone: sometimes in a crowd
I listen: to those i trust, with a critical ear
I hide: my feelings, my fears
I drive: the blue NSBE Disco truck
I sing: in the truck
I dance: when the music isn't wack
I write: for myself, when inspired
I breathe: deeply to live
I miss: having no responsibilities, summers on Edisto Island
I say: what i want, what i mean
I feel: afraid i won't end up making an impact in the world so i hustle to make that a reality by keeping busy
I succeed: at being resourceful
I fail: at sticking to the script
I dream: big for myself and those i care about
I sleep: a few hours a week
I wonder: where my life's journey will take me, what my obituary will say
I want: the world
I worry: i won't be happy
I give: my all
I fight: for freedom, justice, equity
I wait: too long to share what i hold dearest
I stay: calm, hustling
I am: somebody

And I can get stupid just by droppin science
-Craig G & Marly Marl

i know you wanna enter, but i can't let you in

my mindstate's the madness
i'm gone with the wind


so much on my mind that I just can't recline...it's been a busy August. Got some calls and shout-outs on the bday and spent some chill time with some real chill peoples. the whole hip hop week stuff has wrapped up for the most part.

the hip hop reconstruction conference was a good look. mad youth came through. thought it was definitely chaotic, i felt everything fell into place as best it could given the logistics and other assorted details.

the concert...man....the concert was a blast. all the local acts did their thing, although i'm mad letia larok didn't perform misunderstood. and my man DL had to be flexible and rock without sound, just a mic and lyricall helping him out with some beat-boxing. he was heated afterwards, but i let him know that his set was one of the highlights. cl smooth did his thing although he came off abit too arrogant, but it's whatever. and rakim, although he showed up mad late, rocked the crowd like greatest rapper of all time should.

but maybe i am too much of an opptimist, because there's all kinds of disgruntled folks talking about this and that. it's whatever. in the end, it's about more than the music. more than egos. there's a much, much larger meaning. plus, i can think back to the very instant when we got the phone call in upstate ney york (rome to be exact) informing us that Trouble T-Roy had passed away. if you know anything about me, then you know what runs in my veins. well let's just say, it's like we all had lost a brother. Heavy D was like family thrice removed, but we used to dance, have parties, and do the damn thing like music was our 9-to-5. anyways, someone mentioned that the classic track TROY was one of their top five songs of all time and I'll be damned if I didn't want to say the exact same thing. Like I've said before, there's something about hip-hop that moves me, inspires me to do certain things, go in certain directions. That song held so much meaning to me through the years. So to see CL perform it live was like an honor. I can finally die happy now.

but not too fast. that true, true happiness is still somewhat elusive. i find myself still avoiding certain phone calls and emails simply because I know what I like. So I'll just try and max out these next few weeks before the midget returns and enjoy myself as much as I can. maybe love will come and find me. cuz i ain't looking. i'm all set, son. maybe take in a few concerts, plays, games, etc. maybe even an out-of-state field trip or two. lemme holla at priceline.

it started as a pasttime to make time pass

i got asked a few times if i felt older or wiser. no, just another day went by. hip hop week is upon us. that's not even the real name of it, but it's what i'm calling it. critical breakdown came back in full force tuesday night with some serious heat; literally. the AC broke down earlier in the afternoon, so one big fan had to hold us all down. but it was all good. everyone came out for a good cause and the various artists all held it down on the stage. the best performances hands down were by Project Move and The Foundation. Those two groups are really repping it and speaking truth to power.

like yo, that could be me. like yo, that could be me. like yo, that could be me.

i played softball for the first time in a good 10 years. man did i suck. i popped out on the 1st pitch. that followed with a walk, a strikeout, and a single. so yes, i did get one hit and even rounded the ases for a run. in centerfield, that story is a little bleaker. i let two hits fly by me. i misjudged on and ran too far up only to have it sail overhead by inches. and the 2nd was short, but my underhanded charge came up short. oh well. it felt good to finally get back out there. i was balling at wahington park until 10:30pm monday night and had no idea i'd end up in the outfield two days later. so i'm liking that variety. so anyways, back to hip-hop. the conference and concert are fast approaching. plus, it's hot as a mutha out there. here's to good wishes that all goes well.

you would think

that techies would know how to create a PowerPoint presentation that does not look lik it was thrown together by a 7th grader. scratch that. the 7th grader's might actually look better. if you have 3 paragraphs worth of bullet points on one slide, something is wrong, homie.