Our hands are the ammo cause the battle's still on

Sound the horn
We come rumbling through the function
Precise laser beam techniques to touch something
When we die hard
They'll build an monument to honor us with
Humungous effect in the world
We could have conquered it
-Inspectah Deck, "Above the Clouds"

Nonverbal clues. Sometimes they're are more meaningful and telling than the words that are emitted from your mouth. There used to be a point in time when trained in the particulars of public speaking, the instructor would specifically cite several exmaples of poor hand management. It could be an excessive use of colloquial gestures, fumbling in pants pockets, inadvertently throwing up the wrong set's signs, and leaning on or hunching over the podium. But let's take a closer look at the hand skills for a moment.

There are ways to get by. Not too long ago, I got complImented for my balanced usage of hand movements to complEment what I say. I say that to say this; times do change and when they do it is unexpected and sometimes you just have to go with the flow and adapt as quickly as possible. Not assimilate; just adapt. So using your hands when speaking is now in. Saying so-and-so is "in the builidng" is not. I won't even front like that was original thought either. It was mentioned in today's Metro. I wasn't completely feeling the article, but that topic stucl with me. I'm all for the effective, efficient, and proper use of slang. But damn, son. If you're at an outdoors concert and you say so-and-so is in the building.....I'mma need for you to get it together, B. Find a new phrase. But I digress...

Back to the hand skills. It's just one of those things that comes and goes. Much like a fad, the ebb and flow of what's acceptable can come and go in the blink of an eye. Just think; y'ou've probably heard some dumb shT said by fashionista to the tune of, "pink is the new yellow" or "a pretty-boy shirt, tie, and sweater is the new button-down." Yeah whuteva muthafuqa.

Just be yourself.
Wear whatever the fuq you want to wear.
Wave your hands however you wanna.
Fuq it. Wave 'em in the air.
Like you just don't care.
Just get your point across.
Or put it in writring.
Do you and you'll be aiight.

Sunshine plays a major part in the daytime

You ever get the feeling that you've been here before. A dizzy friend of mine said she think she was a mean football coach ina past life. Yeah ok. Would it be too odd to think you were a prior clone of someone in the current life though? Because Tony Starks stays with some one-liners that I just eat up. Case in point, he's on this hot new joint called "The Mask" with MF Doom and says, "my money green like my nickname was celery." What?! Yeah, I can get with that. Actually some of my bills are a bit faded, but still the point is duly noted. Yet my pocket veggies are just as pliable (ripe) and liable to wilt (stale) in the blink of an eye. Note to self: I need to play the lotery this week. I don't even need a big come-up; an itty-bitty one would suffice.

Just like those folks in the corporate rat race climing the ladder of success...no matter how much had wok and sweat equity you invest, ther's always going to be someone who's putting just as much or even more work than you. So it ends up being a case of never being able to slack off or risk the chance of being left behind or being cast away as a lazy summa b!tch.

I want to lamp, I want to be in the shade
Plus the spot light
...
I wanna have me a phat yacht
And enough land to go and plant my own sess crops
But for now, it just a big dream
Cause I find myself in the place where I'm last seen
My thoughts must be relaxed
Be able to maintain
Cause times is changed and life is strange
-Ghostface, "Can It Be All So Simple"

Better than tomorrow. Worse than yesterday.

And that, class, is today's answer to the age-old question, "how is your day going."

But hey...at least my whip didn't get stolen like my neighbor and - as Harold points out - I don't work for GM.

And I'll be damned if Honda ain't ring my phone at least a half dozen times this morning. Geesh. Chill out, B. Unless you plan on giving shT away, be easy.

Shiver Me Timbers

Well, blow me down
-Some pirate dude

Today wasn't as bad as I had originally imagined it to be. Ok...well that's a slight lie, but whuteva. I managed to do a decent amount of work today and follow-up on several projects that needed some immediate status checking. I even found time to dabble in some code and perform some search engine optimization by tweaking the META tag settings for another of our clients.

But the day can be summed up as this. The big boy toy has come to its fork in the road. [pause for the audible sigh] While enroute to the New England Institute of Art to recruit some new project managers, I had the good (sarcasm, b!tches) [mis]fortune of reciving a call from Ron over at the auto shop I visited last week. And naturally, seeing how November wasn't ended on a sour of enough note as it is, he proceeds to break it down to me in quick en-glez that the batmobile is hurting...bad. So, I could say OK and fork over the $2500-$2800 (yes...he have a fuqing range) that it would cost to repair the dilapidated head gaskets or I could do something else. Something else should not be in my vocabulary....

So I somehow manage to finish work, play some ball, and waddle my a$$ over the the Honda dealership. Why? Because I'm bugging, yo. I really, really love the Disco, but I'll be damned if I enjoy throwing money into a black hole pot of money that provides no gurantee that something else won't happen to break or rust or wear-out or give way or leak on me next week. So I hit my man PAM earlier in the day to gie him a heads-up but I'll be damned if son don't have me waiting for a while. So after eating his lunch (fyi: the jerk chicken strips from Wing It in Allston are that next shT), we crunch some numbers and now I'm sitting here thinking long and hard about this shT.

Do I forsake the uniqueness of my beloved whip, sell my soul for a 401k, and cop an Accord like every 4th driver? Or do I put up a good fight and find a way to give the green light for the Disco's resuscitation? The clock is ticking. They'll start charging me more if I don't hurry up and call AAA to get them to tow it from their lot. This shT is really sucking right now. Fuq it...lemme go visit Nissan first. I got Maxima on mind. Camry too. Oddly enough, I feel like it's possible for me to get played either way. [insert gasface here]

Met her back 89. Now she 22. Acting like she 40.

I think the whole world's goin insane
I fill my mind up with liquor, and drink away the pain
-Mobb Deep & Q-Tip, "Drink Away The Pain (Situations)"

So basically, I BS'd the entire fuqingturkey day holiday break, but oh well...fuq it. I still enjoyed myself. However, my seemingly mundance toothache has taken on a whole new spehere of influence that I'm sure will make this week interesting to say the least. So here's a random asesortment of random shT that I've read on the web over the last few days that either entertained, enlightened, or amused me in way or another....because....like I said....I've been mostly sitting on my a$$ these last few days. While everyone else has been snacking on leftovers the last few days, I've hit up the west indian spot for some stewed chicken, the pizza spot for a slice, the kitchen cabinet and fridge for some oatmeal, and the gym for some r&r. But I did get to spend a lot of quality time with a certain lady, which was definitely the highlight of my holiday. So maybe it's a case of sweet-tooth that I caught. But then, how do I explain the nerve-splitting headaches I caught on various inopportune moments while driving, eating, and playing ball this weekend. Now, that shT hurt. Back to the show...

• Overheard in New York: The Voice of The City: a sometimes funy site of random snippets of life's awkward, funny, and ironic moments. but this shT had me laughing harder than a mutha...
• 18 Tricks to Teach Your Body
• Simple Memorizing Techniques
• 7 Ways to Speed Up and Optimize Windows XP
• GraffitiGen - dynamic graffiti generator
• Mash Up: hip-hop & golf. a dope article on how hip-hop can be used to attract more youth to the sport. it draws a parallel to what we can do with project hip-hop and makes the connection and a serious case for the benefits for all-inclusive education. definitely a discussion starter for our next board meeting.
  
• Audible Mainframe - AM is a hip-hop collective that includes my man DJ JayCeeOh. Their Flash-based site is sick beyond belief.
• a laugh: benzino is such a clown that it ain't even funny. but it is interesting to read some of his odd answers in this interview. plus, what exactky did chubby chubb get? please clue me in. zino may have some serious street cred, but he's still a d!ckhead nonetheless. but it just goes to show you, even hip-hop's morons still get more press that the cats that rep the realness.
  
• Baby Hip-Hop: what a great xmas gift idea
• and lastly....my peoples over at UndergroundHipHop.com. I hit up the store (near Symphony Hall and the Prudential) this evening to cop some extra audio nutrition for the soul. Definitely the place to hit up when in need of that real hip-hop.
  

Man who catch fly with chopstick accomplish anything

Ever catch one?
Not yet?
-Mr. Miyagi

It's time to pour a li'l likka (ahem...juice) out for Mr Miyagi, real name Pat Morita, who passed away recently. I can recall being very into the Karate Kid movie when I was younger so although his death is not as sentimental as someone who is close to me, it still is a remnant of my childhood. Plus, he served as one of the old wise sages in life that dropped jewels with damn near every other breath of air.

Man walk on road.
Walk left side, safe.
Walk right side, safe.
Walk down middle, sooner or later, get squished

Sometimes, I wonder if I'll ever be able to truly accomplish the goals in life that i lay out for myself. ShT, I find it difficult enough just trying to outline all of those goals in the first place, much less putting together a plan of action to tackle it all. Like Daniel, I don't consider myself no tough-guy, so I don't usually try to give off such an aura. I'll admit there will be the occasion when I have to put a li'l more thump in my move than may seemingly be necsessary, but it's probably due to my prior preparation and awareness that there's a d!ckhead-in-waiting along my journey.

A fly swatter would be easier to tumble life's road block, but then how would clean up the mess? I see commone sense and hindsight as life's chopsticks. You can pick apart certain situations using logic to get out of jams and conjure up a stream of consciousness that far surpasses any old bullshT a naysayer could throw at you. Plus, what doesn't break you will only make you stronger, right? So why not go for the gusto, fight for what you believe in, give it your all, and go all out. Basically, show and prove...for yourself...because other people's opinion of you are none of your business. Nahmean?

First learn stand.
Then learn fly.

So, rest in peace to Pat Morita, a 73-year-old man who survived Japanese internment camps and became a movie star, yet still stayed true to himself, repped his peoples, and kept it real. In the grand scheme of things, what more can you ask for?

Imperfect World

I'm been sitting on my a$$ for a few hours now, so I need to go take a shower and show my man Al some birthday love. But, my fuqing jaw really, really hurts right now. So much in fact that I took some Tylenol last night and it held me down lovely, but yet I feel like a pitbull just took a shT on my scalp and then stomped it out, because my shT is bumpin, B. So anyways, I had some really good food yesterday in Dorchester and only made it to one other group gathering for the day.

La hija retarda left her celly at the crib so she didn't call me back until several hours later after I was trying to find out where she was so she could come chill. Sounds like she had fun regardless though. Plus, I wanted her to meet my friend to see how the two of them got along, but alas, the chick was M-I-A, so next time. I really like it when I'm involved with someone with whom I can match wits. The chill sessions are so enjoyable. I've been smiling a lot lately...well not really...but kinda.

I got to check off one of the items on my to-do list from October. It seems Freedie J's Cleaners didn't throw away my three pants after all. And sad to say, but "Brotha Blue" is still under-the-weather. My man at the first shop said it would be a bit beyond their scope so I hazard-lighted it down Hyde Park Ave to Gerardo's to leave it for the weekend. I'm gonna have to pay for at least one hour of diagnosis, but I really, really....really, really hope it's not the head gaskets. If so, that shT would not be fly, son.

Nike done made me smile: We all know (well at least I do) how ill and unfortunately - short - the track, "Be" from Common's latest album was, so of course any video for it had to represent. Well, let' sjust say your boy Paul Hunter done did the damn thing, dunny. The summary states that the clip is meant to trace Jordan's BK roots to to the Chi, but the hell with all of that. The video matches the song's soulfulness pound-for-pound with some great cinematography of real people livign real life. And on top of that, it features Jumpman rep Carmelo Anthony, Q Richardson, and T.O. And yes, you too shall grin when you see T.O. pump his fists in the air. This shT is beyond dope. But of course, the only gripe I could come up with is that how ill it would be if MJ actually repped more than he did in his prime how different things would be. I'm still not a fan of dress codes, so fuq em though, but really though...ain't it odd how when people have the greatest leverage and influence to make an impact they're less apt to rep. Just plain fuqing pitiful.

Percy got something to say: This dude in Michigan had a lot on his mind and upon stumbling upon it, I can get with some of this. Now imagine if T.O. or Ron-Ron or even Nick Cannon (gag) let some shT like this fly out of their mouths....shT that makes you go hmmm.

My Low End Theory

. Happy Turkey Day, b!tches.

It's late...well technically it's early in the morning, but really it's just very late at night. But anyways, i got home around 4am or so only to look out the window 2 seconds ago and see that appears to have started snowing immediately after i walked in the crib. What The FuQ?! So my first thank you will be for getting home safely on fumes because the gas station that I thought was open was not. On top of that, I'm whipping around the Mazda because the big boy toy is sick. And as much as I enjoy the added oomph when I put the pedal to the medal, it is always troubling when I park and my elbow is damn near touching the sidewalk. Plus, since it's been noted that I have big, ashy a$$ hands, you'd think I should be able to steer that low-riding summama b!tch a bit better, but alas...I never really was a sedan guy anyways. But that new Maxima and the hybrid Accord are dope as fuq, dontcha think?

I'm also thankful that I not sychronized homothugging it like Mr. Jackson in the above picture. His corball meter keeps growing by the day. While in the tri-state area over the weekend, I had the chance to hear several interview snippets of him running his jibs about this and that. Now, you would think that some folks would leave well enough alone and simply shut the fuq up after a while. Keep digging that ditch, n!gga. I'm sure more than a couple of BLACK MEN are waiting in the shadows ready to clap your a$$ just on the strength of the redemption. I bet a coupla n!ggas got their scopes on lock as well. But I digress, I don't do well thinking about violent shT.

I've got a few more thanks, but seeing that picture put the icing on the cake for me. I'm just glad I keeps it real.

I'm thankful for my family and friends.
Honored to be schooled in the ways of the world by those whose shoulders it is a privilege to rest upon.

Thankful for the gift of life and sense.
Content with the strides I've made thus far in trying to lead a life of quasi-righteousness.

Thankful for the ability to think criticaly and walk to the drum of my own beat.
Hopeful for the promise of a new tomorrow and the bloom of a new day.

Thankful for arising to yet another morning...ahem...late morning/midday/noon
Grateful for the opportunity to share my hopes, dreams, talents, gifts, vision, and insight with the world.

Thankful for the midget who wistfully (sans the occasional grunting & whining) has inspired me to far greater heights than I ever previously imagined
Appreciative to those who have shared their hopes and dreams with me and let me peer into the windows of their worlds

Thankful for the chance to intake this air and impact the world in some eventually meaningful way
Blessed to keep it moving day by day

Thankful to you for read my words, thoughts, nonverbal emotions, and uncommitted rantings on life, music, love, hate, parenting and all that spans the clouded space that comprises my life. Word.

Showing me her tan line and her tattoo

Singing Sade's Sweetest Taboo...
Burning candles
All my other plans got cancelled
-Mos Def

A divergent post from the jump about relationships, both friendly, harmless, plutonic, man-to-man, passive, misplaced, misdirected, missing, and intimate. But now I think I need to like my graphic designers and write it down on paper first and get back to you. Lemme go handle that. I need to flesh this idea out more fully. Sorry for the cocktease.

Either you slinging rocks or you got a wicked jumpshot

Sometimes, the options are limited. You may have a selet few choices that pose serious causal effects on you life. Sometimes, it's the tit-for-tat of life that either empowers us or brings our spirits down.

I'm in a funk right now. But it's not that bad (or smelly). Just a minor mental detour that has me distracted from the everyday struggle. So I'll just strive for balance and let the struggle continue. Plus, I keep night court hours, so I know it's my fault that the little person is a night owl, but you would think if i wear his a$ out that he'd go to sleep and stay asleep. You are retarded if out haven't yet figured out which path he opts for. But anyways, I can hang so it's whatever. However, as much as i try to not comment too much on 50 cent, to try and avoid giving him any more play, i can't help but draws parallels between his new movie and certain DVD from out of my hometown. I might have to re-edit this and paste the article here later if it's unaccessible.

So basically the moral of my story is woe is me. I try not to complain or b!tch about shT too often, but sometimes u just need to vent every now and then. Inhale...

I've bs'd on my holiday plans so i'm probably gonna just float around town, work is piling up to my earloads with no sign of letting up, i have yet to put together anything of significance for my girl kat's youth program in Cambridge, my truck is fuqed up and in need of engine work, there is a boatload of clothes that i have yet to take to get dry cleaned, there are 3 pants that i have yet to pick up from the dry cleaners, dry cleaning seems to have gotten dumb expensive in the last 2.5 years, i don't feel like i'm pulling my weight much at work, my old job is turning out to look not-so-bad as i thought, i'm feeling guilty for regretting the heavy pay cut i took to take the current job, and even more guilty for not helping my friend much with her move, i haven't had too hot of a track record at sticking to something this year, there are a lot of unchecked boxes on my multiple to-do lists, i have no clue what to do for the holidays, my net worth is looking alright but i'm still BS'g on a couple of uncovered financial bases, i'm not playing ball as often as i used to, i weigh 40 pounds more than i used to weigh, i still don't lift weights that much, and there are stil some old friends with whom i still haven't connected.

But i'm alive and well, right?
Breathing fresh air, living how i wanna live.
Doing what i wanna do.
Writing what i wanna write.
Working where, how, and when i wanna work.
Being how i wanna be.

The options are endless if you put your mind to it.

NSBE Luv

Just taking a brerak right now because the puppies are killing me, yo. I fell like Isaac Hayes in Jim Brown when his joints were bulging near the end of the movie. Heard some good things today while at the NSBE Fall Regional Conference here in Stamford, CT this weekend. Only remmbered a few of them enough to write down though.

One quotable came from a rather boring IBM rep who did happen to have some good food for thought. He spoke as part of the Graduating Seniors Reception the NSBE professionals hold in honor of the shorties making it out into the real world over the course of the next few months. His lines went something to the effect of being both bold and wise in your decision making habits.

Dare to take risks
Dare to learn
Dare to innovate

Pretty simplistic, but meaningful nontheless. I'm gonna have to pull a straight jack move on money. The other quotable came at this evening's awards banquet in the form of our keynote speaker, my man SGM. His speech was dopeness squared. But the snippet that stuck most with me from his speech was his breakdown of what he deemed is life's three states/modes of living:

• survival
• success
• significance

In essence, they comprise an idea cycle to define life's meaning. Thus, without leaving this wolrd in better shape than when you find it, how truly significant (or successful for that matter) were you with the live you lived?

I've gotta send a big shout-out to my man DW from Cali and SJB from Kansas City for coming through at the last-minute and helping me out by serving as judges for the Undergraduate Studies in Technical Research poser presentation competition. We saw some truly innovative, creative, and eye-opening research projects that shine a bright light of the future of black scientists striving to do their thang. The winners truly deserved their honors, and I hope they can translate their regional success into a national title as well.

All in all, it's been a good conference so far. Due to the action-packed and well-received workshops, the leadership panel that I was to appear on in the afternoon just so happened to get canceled. But it's all good. The judging wore me out enough. And my collegiate chapter made me so damn proud because they contine to rep to the fullest and carray that torch for the Huntington Ave fam. Regionally, they took home both the Chapter of the Month (Sept) and the Chapter of the Semester awards. And on top of that, their chant (MJ's Beat It) was the ish and they racked up with New England Zone awards. But apparently, the new breed seems to be a bit mellow overall, but of course it's only because us mid-twenty-year-olds are truly getting up there in age. Although change is uncomfortable, it is also unavooidable. But it was cool to see the new faces and reconnect with my peoples from across the northeast on some real shT. Plus, now that I'm no longer as in the mix as I would normally be at this conference, I got a chance to meet some new peoples, establish some good connections for random other enterprising and networking purposes, and continued in the tradition of fostering that NSBE luv. And that's what it's all about.

Atttitude reflects leadership, captain!

-words spoken by Big Ju aka Wood Harris in Remember the Titans. Speaking of Wood, he and his big bro Steve really turned that mutha out in Common's video for the track, "Testify." That's some serious fiyah on the strength, son. haha. i crack me up.

So anyways, I'm sitting here thinking of shT to do to keep myself occuppied while the short guy decides to go toe-to-toe yet again. I tell ya...this kid is of another planet. So this time, we do out thing, run around town after I scoop him up after work. We head back to the crib and he gets his grub on, but since it's Thursday, we dash right back out to the gym. I'll give him this much; he was damn well-behaved today. Much better than I expected. he only threw his ball on the court once the entire time we were playing ball. But lawd oh lawd, little did I know he was secretly hiding the real ironman shT for later. Now I figure, we did the award tour with muhammad my man thing and played with his soccer ball at the fieldhouse. So please tell why this dude still didn't want to call it a night at 10:30. Better yet, why did I proceed to put him to sleep, do some laundry, eat my dinner, and hop online, only to hear him downstairs talking to whatever imaginary friend was in town for the pre-holiday and click-clacking away on something or another. So what was the click-claking for, you ask? Let's just say that when I decide to venture back down there at damn near 12:30am, money runs back to the bed and appeared to summersault his a$$ up there. But maybe my eyes were just messing with me, right? So apparently, something is just a little too fuqing fishy though. So, I notice some items are not where they should be, nor where I last left them. Let's just say the my ab roller seems to have been used as a 'dunkin donut' with a certain bathroom fixture. So it's safe to say that he didn't see much light after that episode.

So to make a long, rambling as story meaningful, I read three recent blogs by people I actually know that - although they don't exeactly have parallel themes - have similar undertones. This one ponders the phenomenon of anonymous blogging where you only know bloggers by their URL and the words they write and share for the world to see. Then, speaking of the world to see, this one talks about how the world sees fat people based upon a recent tv show that did some sorta hidden camera makeover to make a skinny chick look fat and detail the differences in how she was treated. Then to tie it all together, this one talked about interest, passion, and motivation and how finding your passion can be both stressful and empowering, which is kinda related to what my man TonyS said back in October. But then it's kinda like the Reverse card in Uno because ChezNiki mentioned similar stuff in an earlier post about her career goals and I have had several similar such conversation with a couple of good friends on the very same notion of how you can do what you need to do right now as long as you always hold onto the dream of doing what you want to do. Like my man Kweli said, sometimes we do things just to get by. But if getting by end up being the end of the road, then did you ever progress? So it's funny how some ill shT can have you all stressed out and serious and studious and senile all at once. But then again, seeing shT like this makes you hopeful that you'll still be able to find your passion and be able to flip sht with it. So I'll end with this, just like a good leader should leave a legacy of having nurtured future leaders, finding your passion to me aslo entails helping others to explore, identify, and cultivate theirs. It's only fair, right? Attitude does indeed reflect leadership. Nahmean?

Since when did the Roxy get all ethnic?

First, I catch wind of Smif-N-Wessun and Buckshot performing tonight. I'm still trying to put my mind around how they did that and how in the world I'm gonna be able to make it. And now, I hear that the Breed Love Odyssey tour will be swingin through town three weeks later on December 1st. Lemme find out they done went and got new management with some hip genes in their DNA. I can get with this [2].

You'd think my name was Bebe

I feel sorry for trouble if it runs into them kids.
-Ron Harris

Yes, my friend, it feels just like it looks. Like a bunch of lightning bolts running through the skull simultaneously. It's going on nearly four hours that I've been trying to get this half pint muthufuqa to go to sleep. And while I am graciously trying my best and doing everything in my power to maintain my discipline and composure and not throw his punk a$$ up against a wall, the situation is gradually deteriorating.

The crazy part is that I already had him on the verge of sleep twice tonight, but somehow, like Mimi/Mariah, this dude just keeps bouncing back. Maybe this really is the twilight zone because I swear I saw dust balls skipping along the street like this was Dodge City. So basically, I left his a$$ downstairs right now and he is currently banging away on the bedroom door. But it's not like it's locked or anything. He keeps opening and closing the door (read: slamming that mutha) and hollering his lungs out(more like growling now. it's his cresecendo). Oh well...you would think the hollering your lungs out part would get him tired and eventually wear him down. No, no...not Super Toddler. And to think, we had an early morning and he still is trying to go toe-to-toe with king night owl himself. The nerve of this mutha...pissing me off to the highest level of pissivity.

Actually, I had originally planned to wear him out quickly and put him to bed by 9pm so I could get some work done since it's obvious not enough time in the day to attend to everything I need to hande with my job. But of course, bam-bam said this is Burger King today, b!tch. He's gonna have it his way regardless of what I say...or shout. And since I'm a bit weary myself, I think I'm gonna have to wave that white flag and call it a night. I think this will have to be filed under "stolen moments to recall when it's prom time." The nerve of this mutha...

You ever dance with the devil under the pale moonlight?

Here's the cause of this shT, more statistics, deeper than the laws of physics
-Nature, "Deperados"

Don't think for a second that I'm repping Batman, sunshine. Shout out to everyone who remebers The Firm album. This a quick plea for help from any local nerds willing to volunteer 3 hours of their life to a worthy cause. It's not like any local nerds actually will read this in the next 36 hours, but oh well...fuq it, right? So basically, our NSBE chapter is taking our NSBE Jr. chapter down to the conference this weekend. The shorties won the Try-Math-A-Lon qualifying match in October and thus have a shot at comepting regionally. They've been studyting and getting tutored the past few weeks on Tuesday and Thursday after school at UMass-Boston and the midget and I swung by on Tuesday to lend a helping hand. For the most part, the team as a whole is on top of their math game, but man oh man, physics is the devil incarnate. That shT had me going batty for a good 30 minutes. I'll admit, I was never the illest physics student in the first place, but damn yo, I swear I was one of Dr. Boorman's best students back in 95-96. So what happened? Son, either my brain cells fried, that shT got way harder, or I must have mistakenly thought I did better than I actually did. At least I was able to breeze through the math practice test. A couple of ratio problems, some percentages, some exponent multiplication, some long division; it's all good. I got you. As a matter of fact, I even got to play teacher for a bit, with chalk dust caked up in between by thumb and index finger as I demo'd several sample probelms on the board. Felt good. Definitely will file that one under 'need to revisit.'

But when you start talking about wattage and joules and force and work and effieciency output and kilojoules; ring the alarm, please. Your boy needs some assistance. I was that deer in the headlights. The phrase 'the blind leading the blind' can be so poignant at times that it ain't even funny. So if you're reading this and think you can lend a helping hand this Thursday, holla at the kid. They'll be there for an extra hour, from 5:30-8:30pm trying to get all the last-minute cramming as possible in preperation for the next day's voyage. Hoepfully, we can come back on Sunday with big cheesy grins and something to show for all of their hard work. They're good kids and are putting their best foot forward. That's all that reall matters anyway, right? Word.

Let me explain how I maintain thresholds to pain
I walk across the sun barefott looking for shade
-Canibus

Unless the judge is wack and the jury is jive

Sean Price was on to something. On Tuesday, I had to wake up at what seemed to be the dawn of a new millenium because it was soo damn early int he morning. But anyways, I managed to slalom out of bed at 7-something in the morning and casually made my way to the Orange line and then downtown to the Suffolk County Courthouse at Pemberton Square. Let me tell you, this place is so tucked away that it isn't funny. It's actually not hard to find, but it's quite the elusive structure nonetheless.

So anyways, I get there by 9 to wait in the large jury pool staging area and cross my fingers hoping for a short visit. Yeah right. We end up sitting there for a little while until my panel gets called up to one of the 20 courts in session. We hear about the case that is going to trial and have to answer questions about any conflicts we may have. Now that I think about it, there were a few people who did seem to be just raising their hands for just about everything, inclusing this one older brother who clearly did not want to be anybody's juror. So anyways, they start impaneling cats individually and inch ever so close down the list to my name as people get excused left and right. So the first 14 jurors get situated and then guess what. Yup, two get removed by counsel. Back down the list. Ok, so we're at 14 again. Not so fast buddy. Back down the list again. Ok so they are finally all happy and squared away and the rest of us are grinning from ear to ear thinking we've made it and can see the light at the end of the tunnel. But of course, our delight was quickly shTTed on when told to report back to the jury pool room. I counted at least a half dozen nonverbal 'fuq yous' in a span of two seconds. Now at this point, I'm already way beyond hurting because naturally, my dumba$ decided to forgo sensibility and stayed up until 4am the night before. So I'm a bit blunted-eyed to start with, not to mention the slight headache that had my head thumping for the previous 24 hours.

Everything after that is bleary. If I had gotten robbed, I definitely would be of no use to a sketch artist. I can faintly recall about four specific moments where I literally felt my head bouncing back up. If you're not sure what I mean by bouncing, then you obviously were very serious and studious student. I, on the other hand, have been sleeping in class since the mid-ninties. Front row, window seat, last pew; it don't matter, B. When it's time to doze, I'm a goner. So basically, I remember hearing a collective shout of celebration and a bunch of bustling and I quickly realized it was time to roll out at about 1pm. Back to working world I go. But seriously, I understand the necessity of fair and impartial random people, but something's gotta give. I don't think I would have made a ery good juror. I was hurting like a mutha. Maybe we should rewrite the law books to make it a voluntary process. Just think; voter turnout would increase and mistrials woud decrease. Now wouldn't that be lovely?

Who's Gonna Take The Weight?

Seeing the Self Destruction video took me back to a place in time I would love to return, but alas, it ain't happening. Plus, life is li'l more comfortable right about now. But I'll be damned if it wasn't some real glory days shT though. And yes, this is yet another short a$$ post. Sue me. I miss Stetsasonic.

Who Pissed In Your Teapot?

It's been a very trying week on the jobfront. Things are hectic, heating up, and hammering away at my health and humanity. Yes, once I got started with all that alliteration, I damn sure wasn;t going to let it end abruptly. So anyways, let's just say that I am thankful for a lot of things. I am thankful that I learned a poem in two languages; English and Spanish. It's the one that goes a li'l like this:

God, give me the serenity to accept things which cannot be changed;
Give me courage to change things which must be changed;
And the wisdom to distinguish one from the other.

Conversely, you may recgnize it in this form:

God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I Cannot change…
Courage to change the things I can
And Wisdom to know the difference…

Either way, it has allowed me to remain cam and relatively at ease when faced with one of my et peeves, which is an event in itself because I don't possess many of those. But let's just say that some muthafuqas would seriously be six feet under if I had my mother's temper. And I do, I just stifle it well. And as much as I really do not desire to coke a b!tch, hey...shT happens, right?

What's that aroma in the air?

Trees.
So what's that mean, son?
Son, that means it's hunting season
-"Headz Ain't Ready"

OK, class. Let's aim a collective red dot at our favorite fake-ass-gangsta of the hour. Ready. Aim. Ok...well I won't mimic the sound, but you get my drift. I'm trying to stay non-violent with this one. But yet again, my man Harold Clemens commented on the bullshT with such concise eloquence ("long live the Lox, muhfucka!") that you just have to read his insight. And azuleta chimed in on the issue as well with a great observation: "Everybody has been through some sh*t in their lives. Who cares? Tell me where you're going in spite of all of that." It don't get no realer than that, son.

"Headz Aint Ready for what my clique got in store
cause what we got in store keeps us prepared for the war"

How could I move the crowd

First of all, ain't no mistakes allowed
Here's the instructions, put it together
It's simple ain't it, but quite clever
-Rakim, "Move The Crowd"

I'm in a serious state of deep thought right now. I am entertaining an offer to speak to a group of at-risk 14-to 19-year-old youth and lead a workshop/discussion on the stop snitching issue. A friend of mine, who works at a youth center as a counselor in the evenings, mentioned how weary she is of seeing the shorties rolling in and out wearing the shirts.

So now, I need to think of a game plan to logically offer a position and counter-argument as an ice-breaker to break bread. And I've got til Thursday to think of some ill shT. A debate comes to mind. But so does a panel. Or I could have a crew in tow in order to have 1-on-1 session with the kids. Hmmmm. If I come weak, it will be oh so wack. If I come correct, then well...it'll go a long way towards establishing some credibility and relevancy with the young duns. If you're reading this, I may be picking your brain in the next 48 hours for ideas. So start thinking, B.

They hit me with the dart filled with the pork chop serum

I tried to hold on but before long I dropped
When I awoke I was locked in the barber's shop
Trapped in the barber's chair
Oh no, they're gonna try and cut my hair
But that can't stop the Prophet

-Jeru The Damaja, "Can't Stop The Prophet"

my sights were set
on inner visions
of furthering my bling
i had a thing for the green
but the sticky-icky prevented me
from fully doing my thing
so i had to settle with simply a fling
and a week's salary ring

i flailed my arms in the air
but to no avail
because my despair fell on deaf ears
the frankie cutlass in me
wanted her to fuq me for free
but still i had to get my wieght up

so i stayed up many a late night
trying to burn those nocturnal oils
and plow through the toil and torture
but still could only muster up a measly 'have a good night'
WTF?!

apparently...I need to sleep more often

Make the love, Paint the picture, Write the song

...the player met a virgin made a virgo named him sean.
-Atmosphere (Slug)

It's fuqing bright outside already but I'm still considering it Saturday night. I ended up getting a last, last-minute call and invite to the Steppin Out event to benefit the Dimock Street Health Center. It was rather swanky affair, but definitely had its share of eyebrow-raisers. And oh, how I loathe not having my whip handily available. (Side bar: If you're lost, stay lost). So anyways, it was a good look. Ran into some folks I haven't seen in a while and some others that I see every so often. Also managed to weave in some networking to boot, so it wasn't a completely wasted night. But I'm still up trying to expunge all this extra energy. I need to take a fuqing jog around Jamaica Pond or something. This night owl shT can get crazy at times.

I'm energetic, poetic, athletic, with good credit

So just move like I'm Simon and I said it.
-Grand Puba, "I Like It"

There comes a time when you have a chance to sit back and relax and just soak in the good tidings that you've been blessed with. Nahmean? My man A* called last night, head the sickness in my voice, and scooped up the midget today. What a nice guy. So basically, I'm not feeling as a anti-everything as I was yesterday. I thin I will take my uncle up on his suggestion that I write his brother. I' not saying I will write immediately and mail the shT tomorrow, because I procrastinate way too much that. Hell, I have some shT that may get recycled by the dry cleaning folks if I don't get my a$$ over there pronto. So anyways...that Puba line came through the tube today and I said to myself, 'Word." It's not like I don't say it enough, but it's not everyday that we get to sit back and smile at the successes we've had in life. Some folks have the benefit of good luck, inherited wealth, and ill skills, whereas others just do their thing on the daily. We grind it out on the humble and don't ask for handouts, but stil reach for the stars. Our arms aren;t too short to box with God, but we still pray for a better tomorrow. Feel me? I caught up with some of my peoples from across the country today and felt blessed to know so many people of varied interests and passions all working towards a common thread; happiness. Whether it's my homegirl Ty* striving for succes in the mdeical field, while balancing it with the demands of being a new mother, or my homie C* in Cali focused on getting a gig in NYC, but not quite sure how the hell to make the square resume fit into a round position. One day it'll all make sense, right?

Though I know to grow I gotta learn to let go

Though I know the dough I gotta bring it back to the ghetto
Arrows on Tarot cards pointing to the grind
Po' livin in more prisons, pointing to my mind
-Common

Sometimes, folks just can't ever seem to get it right. and it sucks, but it is what it is. this life shT ain't rocket science. nahmean? Just found out about this a wek or so ago amd got asked to today to write a letter. But of course, the only thing I can think about are two songs. Nas' "One Love" and Outkast's "Git Up, Git Out," in which Cee-Lo spit oe of the illest verse ever. I should just copy and paste, huh?

...you need to git up, git out and git somethin
Don't let the days of your life pass by
You need to git up, git out and git somethin
Don't spend all your time tryin to get high
You need git up, git out and git somethin
How will you make it if you never even try
You need to git up, git out and git somethin
Cuz you and I got to do for you and I

I don't recall, ever graduatin at all
Sometimes I feel I'm just a disappointment to y'all
Every day, I just lay around then I can't be found
Always asked to give me some livin life like a bum
Times is rough, my auntie got enough problems of her own
N!gga, you supposed to be grown
I agree, I try to be the man I'm 'posed to be
But negativity is all you seem to ever see
I admit, I've done some dumb shit
And I'm probably gon do some mo'
You shouldn't hold that against me though (Why not?)
Why not? My music's all that I got
But some time must be ingested for this to be manifested
I know you know but I'm gon say this to you I...
Get high but I don't get too high
So what's the limit 'posed to be?
That must be why you can't get your ass up out the bed before three
You need to git up, git out, cut that bullshit out
Ain't you sick and tired of having to do without
And what up with all these questions?
As act as though you know somethin I don't. Do you have any suggestions?
Cuz every job I get is cruel and demeanin
Sick of takin trash out and toilet bowl cleanin
But I'm also sick and tired of strugglin
I never ever thought I'd have resort to drug smugglin
Naw, that ain't what I'm about
Cee-lo will just continue travelin this route
Without any doubt or fear
I know the Lord ain't brought me this far so he could drop me off here
Did I make myself clear?

Rap Session: A Community Dialogue on Hip Hop and Race

Friday, November 4th @ 6:00pm

Northeastern University, Curry Student Center Ballroom

As part of a continuing national debate, a multicultural panel of accomplished intellectuals has been assembled to discuss the Hip-Hop cultural movement and the emerging racial politics of our time. The panel will also be discussing the ways in which Hip Hop can be used to unite youth and initiate actitivism.

Panelists Include:

Raquel Z. Rivera
PH.D. in Sociology, freelance journalist and author of New York Ricans from the Hip Hop Zone

Ernie Paniccioli
chief photographer for Word Up! Magazine since 1989

Adam Mansbach
author of the groundbreaking novel Angry Black White Boy

Bakari Kitwana (moderator)
co-founder of the first ever National Hip-Hop Political Convention and the author of Why White Kids Love Hip-Hop

The panel discussion will be followed by an open question and answer session and a book signing.

PS: if you're not in Boston and will be in NYC this weekend, check out the H2Ed Summit taking place at the Bronx Museum of the Arts.

Mass Alliance to Reform CORI (MARC)

MASS ALLIANCE TO REFORM CORI (MARC) invites you on Thursday, November 3rd at 6:30 to Haley House in Dudley Square (Roxbury, MA).

In the past 3 months MARC's work resulted in:

• City of Boston passed an ordinance requiring all entities doing business with the city (50,000 employers!) to adopt fair CORI hiring practices or their contracts will be cancelled!
  
• City of Cambridge unanimously passed ordinance (similar to Boston) requiring city vendors to adopt fair CORI hiring practices
  
• Boston City Council unanimously passed a CORI Reform Resolution urging the state legislature to reform CORI
  
• Development of MARC locals in Brockton, South Boston, Chelsea, Amherst, and cities and towns across the state
  
• Organized a major conference bringing together legislators, social service provider and folks with CORI to lay groundwork for statewide campaign...
  

SO, WHERE ARE WE GOING FROM HERE? Join us on Thursday night and help develop and become part of the strategy that will win CORI reform!

Drama. Don't Start None. Won't Be None.

The movie was aiight while still being kinda wack, but What's The Worst That Could Happen are some truly scary words. So in the midst of trying to make some moves, the Mazda got towed tonight. And for some good awfulk reason, the geniuses that come into the Boston area near the Fens will end up towing your shT all the way to Charlestown. Fuqing Charlestown?! You've got to be kidding me, son. Add to this the fact that while the piece of shT car is on its last legs and i am heavily contemplating getting rid of the bTch, sis (BOS) has been using it. It works out on both ends, she pays for gas and whatever tickets she gets and doesn;t have to worry about car notes or isurance. Me? I get semi-on-call child care assistance. Aunties come in handy, yo. Except when they're retarded. And yes, BostonSis has a tendency to relapse. Man I tell ya...I won't even let this even be about women drivers. She's just an anomaly. I can't even explain it. I'm still waiting for basketball season to start and for me to show up and see her suited up for the first game like 'Surprise! I was just fuqing wit ya!" But alas, that scenario seems less and less likely. But hey, she's about to graduate soon, so I get to get down wit the getdown and throw a party like I used to a few years back on some legendary status shT. I'll miss the relative in close proximity, but I damn sure won't miss these relapses. I just hope the retards in Charlestown didn't do any extra damage to my whip. I think I'm gonna have to make a collage and start archiving all of the parking violations I've amassed over the last eight years. Geesh. I need a drink.

Each day's another chance to do the things I could've...

Done the day before, but I didn't and I known I should've
So I say a prayer for the gone for gooders
Who left this world, then kiss my girl "good mornin', shuga"
Another sunrise, and as much as I would love
To roll over on you I cannot do it because
The good Lord, I prayed to him
And he said, "N!ggaz is listening now"
So I better have something to say to 'em
-Phonte, Beautiful Morning

This quip from my man Phonte and some other mentions of bourgeois brothers got me to thinking about DuBois' notion of the talented tenth and how it corresponds to modern times. There are few folks who take the late 80's t-shirt "i am my brother's keeper' to heart. Of course, the phrase was not coined in those times, but if you feel me, then you feel. You feel me? So anyways, if you ever rocked one of those shirts or the malcom/martin/malcolm/mandela joints then come and take walk with me. take a walk with me. see what only i can see... [can you name that tune?]

How do you best balance life's tug-of-war when faced with questions of morality and integrity. Do you 'go for broke' irregardless of risk or do you hedge your bets on the hopes that someone else will falter first and you will then be better prepared having learned from their mistakes and missteps?

The LP pictured above is a bona-fide classic in my book. You probably will never hear Chubby Chubb or Funk Flex drop 'em as bombs though. Just To Get A Rep is one of illest street parable storytelling tracks ever. No frills, just some real shT. When I said that hip-hop was my pops, I ain't lying, yo. This here music served as my conscience and held me down plenty of times in the face of strife, struggle, and stress. So I find it amusing when you see it being pilfered by muthafuqas who themselves seem to be getting played by a larger demon. Cash may in fact Rule Everything Around you, but not Me, dunny. And yes, that is the same Phonte from Little Brother tha I quoted. yes, the same Little Brother I've been pumping for a few months now. It's just that real though. Sometimes, you just cannot go with the flow, but instead have to go against the grain, even when folks try to make it seem that you were originally going against the grain, but it was still the same ole bullShT. Feel me? That's why I can dig it when Phonte says he'd rather get one mic in The Source than three. And I'll be damned if the logic don't make sense. BTW, that article is a bit old, but I just read it yesterday, so oh well. So today's moral? Make up for lost ground by staying on your Ps and Qs and making good on pursuing your passion.

I never sleep, cuz I may never wake up

Just zoning out tonight; listening to some good music and trying to bang out some web work at the same time. Plus, I'm preparing for the first round of some interviews we are conducting starting bright and early tom...this morning. And we already have one position filled. So yippee. It still doesn;t mean I'll have any less work to do. And let me let you in on a little secret. Being a self-employed consultant is and has been such a great experience thus far. The schedule flexbility is truly a keeper, but of course, with the good comes the bad. As much as I like spontaneity and all that jazz, there are definitely some stability issues that I am simply not able to stomach much.

Just enjoying some gems like Cormega's above-quoted "R U My N!gga" and Akrobatik's "U Got It."`Just trying to get my mind right for the other four days of this week. Hopefully, the road to pderdition won't be as bumby as I'm anticipating it will be. Plus, I need to think of something creative for the midget and I to do tonight. Maybe we'll hit up a pub a throw one back for former Red Sox GM Theo Epstein, who got done in on some foul shT. I wonder if Theo was listening to Cormega priot to that final meeting before he backed off...