My shT holds a mouthful so I guess you know what's up

I thought of writing this shT Wednesday night but just didn't get around to it until now. I ended up working late and not making the peace march, but did catch all of the program that followed. Very moving. Purple was evrywhere and you could feel the love and urgency of the vibe in the air. Real people doing real things to make real-life not seem so unreal.

muthafuqas act hard
thinking that they are God
ni&&aS just don't understand
let me be my own man
did everything on my own
and everyplace wasn't home

The parade of speakers who stepped to the mic included a variety of folks from throuhgout the community who are either active in making the streets safer for our children or havebeen touched in some way by the violence the plagues our urban locale.

everywhere that I'd rest
I had to dress with a vest
I guess you get the routine but with a lot of stress
frustration on my mind
brothers doin' mad time
rhymes are organized like crime
as we're rippin' the lines
-quotes from Li'l Dap, "I'm The Man"

Sometimes you can't help but wonder if it is all for naught. If all the years of schooling and studying and shT wind up being utterly useless because eventually you'll simply succumb to the lure of the streets. Be it the fast life or the calling of outreach, i can't seem seem to shake that notion out of my head. It bugs me, perplexes me, annoys me, frustrates me, awes me, and inspires me. Today is Christmas Eve and all these disparate thoughts run through my head as i try to cling to my past while praying for the future. A week before it's time to start seriously pondering what we'll resolve to do differently in the new year, I'm still waging war with my consciousness to pick a path. It ain't all clear-cut, but the options that dotted my mind's landscape four years ago ahev altered dramatically. And not necessarily for the worse. I just hope I can make sense of this madness before it's too late. For me to adjust and make the supposed impact I think is there. For the streets to be reclaimed. For this generation of youth strung out on the blue steel of despair. It's funny how shT comes full circle when you least expect it...